Categorie
Buonumore

Paradiso ed inferno


Heaven is where 
the police are British
the cooks are French
the mechanics are German
the lovers are Italian
and all is organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where
the cooks are British
the mechanics are French
the police are German
the lovers are Swiss
and all is organized by the Italians.

Il paradiso è là dove
i poliziotti sono Inglesi
i cuochi sono Francesi (opinabile)
i meccanici sono Tedeschi
gli amanti sono Italiani
e tutto è organizzato dagli Svizzeri

L’inferno è là dove
i cuochi sono Inglesi
i meccanici sono Francesi
i poliziotti sono Tedeschi
gli amanti sono Svizzeri
e tutto è organizzato dagli Italiani.

Religion Environmentalist

Taoist  

Recycling happens.

Buddhism  

If recycling happens, it is not really recycling.

Zen-Buddhism  

What is the sound of recycling happening?

Confucianism  

Confucius say: Recycling happens.

Hinduism  

This recycling has happened before.

Islam  

If recycling happens, it is the will of Allah.

Protestantism  

Let recycling happen to someone else.

Catholicism  

If recycling happened, you deserved it.

Judaism  

Why does recycling always happen to us?

New Age  

I affirm recycling does not happen to me.

Atheist  

I don’t believe this recycling.

 

Three men are standing in line to get into heaven.

Peter tells the first man, “Heaven’s gone over quota today, and I’ve been asked to admit only those who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?”
The first man replies: “Well, I suspected my wife was cheating one me, so I went home early today to catch her in the act. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I searched everywhere but couldn’t find where the other gyu was hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and there was a man hanging from the railing! I started kicking him but he wouldn’t fall off. So I got a hammer and pounded on his fingers. He dropped 25 stories, but then landed in the bushes, stunned, but okay. So I ran into the kitchen, pushed the refrigerator over to the balcony, and over the edge. It landed on him, crushing him instantly. But all the stress and rage and exertion were too much for me; I had a heart attack right there on the balcony.”
“That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said Peter, “and a very horrible death. You can come in. Next! Heaven is full and I have been asked to admit only persons who have died horrible deaths. What’s your story?”
“It’s been a bizarre day,” the second man stepped up to Peter and explained. “Every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I accidentally slipped and fell over the edge. Luckily, I caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me, just as a man burst out onto the balcony. I thought I was saved, but he started kicking me! I held until he grabbed a hammer and pounded my fingers. Finally I just let go, and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just as I was thinking I’d be okay, this refrigerator came falling out of the sky and crushed me, and now I’m here.”
“That’s indeed a very horrible death,” Peter said, “You can come in. Next! Heaven is full and I have been asked to admit only persons who have died horrible deaths. What’s your story?”
“Picture this,” says the third man, “I’m hiding naked inside this refrigerator…”

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